I HATE YOU, But inside its killing me because i like you and someday want to love you. 2010-01-22T03:36:20Z 117 Man I feel like my life is one big secret. I am a preschool teacher that is so different when working than at home. (I work for a VERY nice preschool). At home, I live in a rented trailer. I hate it but I do love that it's on 3 acres. My husband is a complete idiot but SMART SMART SMART with his hands. I am embarrassed of him. He's also a hypocrite. I am too though. At work I think that I am better than some although I don't always follow the "rules." I also steal things from work... baby wipes, dish detergent, food. I am so afraid that somehow they know and I am going to get fired. I am in agony. I tell too many people way too much stuff about me. I lie all of the time over the stupidest shit. I exaggerate about everything. I was abused by my grandfather once and I feel because of that I let countless men abuse me by not knowing how to say no. I have had 3 abortions. Which I'm glad that I did. But still. I have herpes which SUCKS. I watch porn on the internet way too often and sometimes catch myself watching old men with young women. It's the whole idea of control. I also love just watching very taboo porn... all of it... gay, animals, families, torture, group... although I don't ever want to do those things to myself or with anybody else. I used to be a crack head, meth head, and a coke head. Now I'm just a pot head. I keep too many secrets and I just want to be a different person. How in the hell do I change???? I am desperate. It feels good to "come clean" 2009-12-31T18:02:48Z 116 I slept with a married woman, whom I didn't know was married. Now I feel like shit. 2009-12-31T03:27:19Z 115 I would dump my boyfriend if he doesnt eat my pussy,but yet, I dont suck dick. =] Haha. I know its selfish but I love to get treated right. 2009-12-24T18:17:29Z 114 I'm still a virgin, depending on your definition, with no prospects. Not that I really need any. I'd make a lousy boyfriend what with my current life situation. I masturbate nearly daily, or at least I used to. Now, I lack the drive or impetus. Even with porn I don't really get excited. I suspect this may be due to my isolation. I'm not plagued by this ennui if I've at least met a girl in real life, regardless of what the interaction entailed. Really puts the lightning back in the old loins, so to speak. I guess pheromones don't transmit through the internet. 2009-11-19T01:08:23Z 113 I've cheated on my girlfriend many times, multiple times. with 5 women, and 6 transexuals. I have never told anyone. I've stolen money, scratch off tickets, alcholic drinks. I kept all of this a secret though. I;m not gay, no offense to those who are. I've never taken it. I know transexuals are sorta men, but I look at the femine beauty, not the male parts. I've done just about every single drug, besides herion, meth, and lsd. I've lied to many people, I've cheated in the past. The past is the past though. My sins have been forgiven and I have moved on. I just wanted to get it all out of me though. I doubt I will ever visit this site again, so feel free to flame on about my post. Thanks for reading, and helping me feel better. Thank you 2009-11-16T20:42:47Z 112 I fell in love with my best guyfriend, who I've known for almost three years now. I swear, as cheesy as this sounds, it was really love at first sight. One of my girl friends introduced us because we're super nerdy when it comes to the Legend of Zelda. I've known him longer than all of other girls who are infatuated with him. I hate that he is attractive to what seems like EVERY SINGLE GIRL EVER. I've waited for him for three long, painful years, sticking by his side in the "Friend Zone". But we finally got together and are now dating. Our feelings are mutual, and we really do love each-other. I was in the biggest love trance for the first two weeks of the relationship, but one of his many, many ex-girlfriends has "feelings" for him, and is being a real pain in my neck. My boyfriend says he's telling me the truth, and I used to trust him with everything, but now I'm extremely paranoid that he'll break up with me for her. Which I really don't want, because this girl ALWAYS gets what she wants. She is causing a lot of tension between my boyfriend and I, and I don't know what to do anymore. His ex is going behind my back to other people asking how my boyfriend and I are relationship-wise, starting rumors, and doing plenty of other things that make me insecure about the relationship. My boyfriend's told me that he won't break up with me for her, and several other things that made me very happy inside. Still, his ex is playing the classic "He-Said-She-Said" game, and I don't know whether to trust my boyfriend, or to trust my friends' advice and finally give up on him. But, I've come to the conclusion that I will give this relationship my all, and I will not back down because of the many girls who want my boyfriend. I will trust him, but still keep my paranoia that he might just be lying to me. And so what if he does break up with me for her or some other hoebag? At least I finally got my chance. And if I'll be stuck in the "Friend Zone" for the rest of my life, that's better than giving up and knowing that I gave up because someone told me to. (Not much of a confession, but something I really needed to get off my chest.) 2009-10-28T23:45:01Z 111 I was briefly married in my 20's. The only thing we had in common was that we both didn't want children. Unfortunately, that's not enough to keep a marriage going, especially because he was an abusive asshole. You'd think that was bad enough, but I also had the most awful MIL imaginable. She was 95 pounds of pure, poor-little-me manipulation. She was an uber-Catholic, first baby at 19 and the last at age 45. She constantly talked about being a Christian while she carried out her clandestine, poisonous operations. If you refused to play along, she would say that she was "mentally putting you in Calvary," until you came around and did it HER WAY. Once, when I was at some stupid family wedding I didn't want to attend, and I was wasn't feeling well, she and her evil sister cornered the photographer and brought him over, ripped my glasses off my face and INSISTED he take a picture of me and my ex. The pictures were awful because I was getting the flu. She ordered copies for all of us. She never missed an opportunity to tell me "those pictures just don't do you justice!" Also, at that same social function, she was badgering me to dance with my husband. When I wouldn't, she started to cry and talked about her late husband and how "we always danced together," and "how people used to say we were so much in love." The reality was that the was an alcoholic asshole who ran around on her and was gone for months at a time. (I can't say that I blame him. She was batshit crazy. I would have left and never come back.) I was a real dumbass to marry him. I did it to get away from my own abusive home, but at least I had the sense to get away from him and his mother after three years. I dovorced him 18 years ago and I am happily married to someone else. But the other day I went to legacy.com and looked up her obituary. I paid $1.99 to get the full copy. I didn't do it to see what my asshole ex is up to--who cares? I wanted to see that SHE IS TRULY DEAD in black and white. DING, DONG THE BITCH IS DEAD! 2009-09-22T00:49:46Z 110 I occasionally read the obituaries, hoping to see my ex-boyfriend's name there, just so I can send a condolence card to the family with my words added, "Sorry I couldn't make it to the viewing. My red dress was at the cleaners." I could never actually cause him physical pain, but I can't wait to see him dead. 2009-09-21T23:34:12Z 109 ** I REALLY REALLY REALLY HATE BEING LIED TO ** Secrets can be fun and mysterious sometimes, but... When someone VOLUNTEERS to tell you a lie when you didn't even ask them a question, doesn't it make you want to give them a black eye? Don't volunteer a lie, you dumb freak! I am a psychology major! I can see right through you! Why have you not noticed this yet? 2009-09-10T01:38:27Z 108 I have a great boyfriend that keeps TOO MANY SECRETS from me. I always find out what the secrets are...and he always asks me 'How?" I love his fun delightful personality, but I am seriously considering breaking up with him. I am starting to think that his 'fun delightful' personality is all to hide yet another secret. I can't take this much more. It's making me sick to my stomach. Why can't he just tell me everything? I find everything out anyway! My secret: if he told me all of his secrets up front (at least the ones I know about so far) I wouldn't even mind them. I'm a very 'open-minded' woman, but...I HATE LIARS! 2009-09-10T01:26:25Z 107 i have a secret.This is my cat. 2009-08-27T09:23:12Z 106 I can handle the annual ranting when you don't pass as a woman. It's understandable and I don't mind it when you rant to me about it. But when you started complaining that it's because you've gotten so skinny, I just can't listen anymore. I don't want to listen to someone who just can't be happy with whether they're fat or skinny. Some of us would love to lose weight as easily as you did, and we would love to have the ability to complain about how our clothes are too big for us. So just shut the fuck up. I'm not sorry that you felt like shit after whining about that. 2009-06-14T11:27:17Z 105 Sometimes i Still think about you. And i imagine tons of ways to kill you... And that makes me happy. 2009-05-28T04:22:01Z 104 I'm a good tipper. Minimum of 20%, sometimes up to 50-60% if the service was good. I think it makes up for all the pens I steal. At least I don't sign my name "Thanks for the pen." 2009-05-15T03:14:28Z 103 I DO know the person that owns this site. Cool does not even begin to describe him. 2009-04-30T00:32:38Z 102 I'm afraid to tell my wife I like going down on her because she won't feel like she owes me. :( 2009-04-24T17:16:58Z 101 I know the guy behind this website, he is cool.. maybe 2009-04-24T17:09:19Z 100 I was in my backyard and I accidentally walked by my son's window and saw him touching himself. I stood out there and looked through the broken blinds as he was doing it. I confess it made me very aroused and I am so ashame of it. I could have walked away, but I chose to stand there and watched. 2009-04-21T02:32:15Z 99 I want a baby....I want to be married, but who will marry a girl that can't have a baby???? 2009-04-18T04:59:42Z 98 I told a woman that I would have children with her in order to persuade her to leave her asshole husband for me. And she did. And she's much happier now. And we're engaged to be married this year. But I still don't want kids. 2009-04-07T14:32:49Z 97 I love my ex-husband now more than when I was with him. What a great person he is. It sucks to realize the problem in our relationship was me. :( 2009-03-20T23:33:42Z 96 Problems with racial issues today. Why is ok for black people to call white people racist names but call a womens basketball team "Nappy headed" and you lose your job for being a racist. How many black comedians are there who's entire sketch is about making fun of white people. And how bad do they hate us for slavery. If it wasn't for white people they wouldn't be alive today. Or they would still be in Africa. Starvation, aids, war, and malaria. Sounds nice. Their ancestors went through slavery, not them. 2009-03-20T00:41:58Z 95 i was molested and i'm scared to tell anyone because they'd want me to tell my father who did it to me. but i dont want to tell him because it was his best friend and i dont want to break my fathers heart again. ive broken his heat too many times before.. but i feel so worthless. so i sleep around. it makes me feel better sometimes 2009-03-13T04:46:56Z 94 I really dislike my wife's family. I know that when you get married, you get the family too. Unfortunately, my wife was treated horribly by both of her Parents and her siblings. My wife is permanently damaged by many of the emotional things that she had to endure. Physical pain is not the only type of pain that hurts. I did my best in the beginning to "go along to get along" and not rock the boat, but after being around these people several times, they were not even the type I could "fake" liking. I became physically ill every time we had to see them. They gossip about everyone else, so what was to keep me from knowing they did the same thing to us? Life is too short to put up with that kind of behaviour. Just because you are related to someone does not mean that you have to put up with their rudeness, self-entitled ways and just plain mean spirited ways. In a way, it was like having surgery to remove these people from our lives. The thing that is still so crazy about all of this, is that they have NO CLUE that they have done anything wrong. I don't even feel sorry for them. They deserve each other and if they ever do realize the error of their ways, I doubt they will even care. It will always be someone else's fault. 2009-02-18T04:55:49Z 93 we're hurting and we love you - let this please end 2009-02-15T02:31:21Z 92 I am secretly in love with a co-worker.I have known him almost 13 years..we have a very good friendship,but I would like to take it to the next level.The problem? I am married...but I cannot imagine not ever telling him how I feel. 2009-01-10T06:28:36Z 91 I had sex with a married woman, which may not seem too bad for some people because I'm as single as can be, but it made me feel pretty rotten for a while. I've admitted this fact to a few friends and even my dad, but they all tried to put the blame on her because she wasn't wearing a wedding ring and there was no way for me to know. Well, here's the secret. I lied about that part when I told everyone the story. She WAS wearing a wedding ring, and I DID know. ...and she has a young daughter. And yes, I feel like shit. 2009-01-07T00:14:03Z 90 It may be just puberty acting up on me, but I'm scared shitless by the fact that there's NOTHING after death. It's all nice and shiny when you believe in god, you feel special, superior, cared for. You feel you're not just a freaking mammal. 2008-12-19T21:03:33Z 89 My mom doesn't know it, but I'm getting dreadlocks. I've fallen in love with them despite how people say they're ugly, especially on white people. I love them. Someone once wanted to dread my hair years ago because it always got tangled, but I didn't let them because I was so scared of my mom. Otherwise, I would have gladly let them. I actually don't like hearing how I have beautiful hair. It's only the way it is because I like long hair and everyone else likes it that way, so they leave me alone. My life is so secret from my family and I don't do anything physical to my body because then they know that I'm an easy target to bitch at for doing things my way. But dreadlocks... they're setting me free. I don't have permanent ones yet. I made temporary ones just to ride the idea for a while and see if I like them for sure before I commit to them. It's like forming a relationship. Communicating with my hair, testing it, loving it, making sure that I really want it before committing. Dreads may be ugly to some, but for me they're beautiful. I like them more on white people than other races because whites tend to have more than one color in their hair just naturally. I tend to find ugly things beautiful, and maybe it's because I grew up being not beautiful enough for people. I relate to the things that also aren't beautiful. I see beauty in things that aren't mainstream. Dreads ARE mainstream enough, but I don't care. I'm not a hippie, but they still appeal to me. I made my temporary dreadlocks and I was so happy today. Even during my final exams I was happy and laughing with everyone else. I'm an art student and we have critiques, so there aren't any silent tests and they can be quite fun. No one in the print shop ever heard me laugh so happily during class before, I could see it in their eyes. It's because I'm being myself. My secret is my appearance. I hide it all. I liked being a secret for a while, but it's time to stop. I don't want to be a secret anymore. 2008-12-09T03:58:30Z 88 My husband has a really small penis. We joke about it all the time but I really really REALLY miss the 9 inch schlong a dongs of my old flames. I mean, sometimes I can barely feel it in me. He knows I love him anyway, because he's seen the pictures of my old boyfriend's horse-length member. I married him despite his size. If that's not love, I don't know what is. Thank dog for 12 inch taper candles. 2008-11-26T19:23:01Z 87 When one of my coworkers starts speaking Russian on the phone, I can't help wondering if I've had a stroke and am just hearing gibberish. 2008-11-17T22:14:34Z 86 This is kind of funny. I have cavecanum.com up and I just posted a secret there, but my friend sat down beside me and we started reading it together. Luckily, my secret didn't show up yet so it's cool. But unfortunately now that she knows it's there I can't post there for a while because she's easily addicted to websites like that. I'm posting here in secret while she's off playing pool in segments. Okay, so here's the second part of my secret. I'm becoming more and more dishonest lately due to some magical experiments with my current choice element to work with for the year as I do every year. This year it's darkness, so I'm researching my shadow aspect and holy shit I'm a whimp. Lots of little things are happening, I'm lying a little bit more and I'm cheating a bit more. I haven't had one good shot during pool (holy shit she almost caught me typing this last part!) but while both my friends were distracted by computers (we're in a student computer lab) I just knocked my balls in just so I could get out of the game quicker. None of them noticed. Mmmm... I have one more secret, but that's a secret from this site too. Off to cavecanum.com again to post it. 2008-11-15T06:56:03Z 85 I will be so glad next week when the elections are over. I am so tired of all the spam emails and the news coverage and everything. Just vote and shut up about it. 2008-10-29T03:47:32Z 84 If it wern't illegal to kill other people, I would have killed two already; my ex boyfriend who gave me estacy without me knowing, then raped me, and the douche bag who changed my ex-best-friend who doesn't talk to me anymore 2008-10-16T16:57:35Z 83 Some test text for fun some more text.. 2008-10-11T00:54:48Z 82 I haven't accomplished anything the past two days at work. 2008-10-11T00:13:43Z 81 I'm a real good person & really lonely. 2008-10-05T21:47:04Z 80 A friend of a friend died either Friday night or Saturday in her apartment. She was not found until late Saturday night. She had an ex and kids living close by but nobody bothered to check in on her. I am single, my family lives a few hours away and my closest friends are scattered around the country. I wonder how long it would take for somebody to get worried aough to check on me and it scares me to think about it too much. 2008-09-23T06:33:53Z 79 I really want to believe in a God. I just want proof, and I know there isn't beyond radical church groups singing songs that make me laugh because it all sounds so silly. 2008-09-22T19:39:16Z 78 <i>Deleted spam attempt</i> Alright, I've set up an IP-banning system due to infected systems posting spam links and attempting SQL injection attacks. That type of shit will get you banned. If you ever find this site redirecting you to Google, it's because your system tried to attack the site, and you need to clean it up. 2008-09-17T07:36:36Z 77 <i>Deleted spam attempt</i> Seriously, at least have the links go somewhere. Show me a tit or two, make it worth my while to ban you. 2008-09-15T20:23:06Z 76 <i>Deleted spam attempt</i> That was just precious, spambot. Read the last rule before the box to add your secret, dipshit. 2008-09-15T11:02:24Z 75 I would like to kill everyone else. In fact, some day I will. You too. 2008-09-07T00:46:47Z 74 The government is using the threat of terrorism to keep us afraid, and it's bullshit. If the terrorists were out to get us, wouldn't we be seeing bus bombs and people strolling into restaurants with bombs strapped to their chest? Seems to work in Israel, and it's pretty much unstoppable, yet we haven't seen it here. They either don't exist in America, or the government's doing a great job of stopping them, and trust me, the government is not that competent. Still, I wouldn't rule out an October surprise to try and sweep McCain into office. 2008-09-04T15:04:14Z 73 i had an affair while on holiday,he had a wife and child,i had a partner and 3 children. it just worked right from the start.The other wife found out as did the partner and all children. You may wonder did it all crumble and loose the magic? after 12 years and many troubles we are more in love than ever. He is my world everything we went through was worth it.It was something that would last 6weeks we was told. How wrong they were, yes the wife still hates me. I enjoyed having her husband in bed when she slept in fact i giggle to think of her catching us !thankyou for the use of your husband he was excelent then but even better now, sorry you never got to see his best but thanks for letting him practice on you . 2008-08-20T12:36:45Z 72 I ONCE HAD A VERY SPECAIL SECRET AFFAIR WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. WE NEVER TOLD ANYONE OUR HUSBANDS HAD NO IDEA,WE HAD SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER AFTER WE TOOK THE KIDS TO SCHOOL.IF EVER ANYONE HAD FOUND OUT MY LIFE WOULDNT BE WORTH LIVING, HOWEVER I DONT REGRET A THING NEARLY TWENTY YEARS LATER IT STILL PUTS ASMILE ON MY FACE.I RECOMEND ANYONE TO TRY IT ONCE IN THERE LIFE. DONT KNOCK IT TILL YOU TRY, IT WAS AND STILL IS SOMETHING I FOUND VERY ENJOYABLE.... 2008-08-20T12:27:17Z 71 I had an affair with my high school crush after we graduated and he was married. I recently found out (gotta love the web!) that he's divorced. Wish I had the curage to see him again in person. 2008-08-14T05:02:28Z 70 i will fuck any man ages 60 and up, who has a latex condom and is willing to pay over $40. and i am a young teen. 2008-08-12T03:01:44Z 69 It used to be that when I felt alone, unloved, and underappreciated I would imagine myself getting into a terrible car accident. I liked to think about all of the people who would feel guilty about not treating me well enough, all of the people who’d miss me. Then my best friend’s friend died in a car accident and I told myself that I had to stop thinking that way because it was selfish and just plain horrible…but the moment I begin feeling unloved, I can’t keep the thought from crossing my mind. 2008-08-11T04:09:52Z 68 I’ll never forget one of my female friends in high school... she rolled a condom over her fist, and down her arm... while telling the guys who were standing around watching that 'if _she_ could wear a condom, they could, too'. My ex-husband, however, really did need to wear the extra large size condoms. That girl’s fist had nothing on him. 2008-08-10T22:01:43Z 67 As you might be able to tell, I've given the site a bit of an upgrade. Accounts are gone, and everything has been redesigned to no longer require a login. I'm still working on getting the voting back in place, but there's some nice, fancy Javascript shit when you add your secrets, and since I don't have to worry about multiple possible views of a page depending on whether or not you're logged in, I can cache entire pages, making the site much faster. I figured nobody would confess to murder if I had their e-mail address internally tied to a secret, which may also explain the current rate of 13 secrets/month as TMS approaches the one year mark. I hope that by making it truly anonymous, I'll get some more participation out of you visitors. 2008-08-05T22:02:34Z 66 do i tell my daughter that her father is the biggest waste of space on the face of the earth? Or shall i let her realise in her own time that he will screw her over just as he has screwed everyone else he has ever come into contact with! sorry baby for giving you the worst dad in the world! 2008-08-03T14:25:53Z 65 i totaly and compleyly hate the sight of my son in law i wish he would get swept up in a mini hurricane just above his house that way we could actually celebrate that for once in his life he done something that made other people happy and not him. he is without a doubt the reason abortion will always be legal. 2008-08-03T14:20:49Z 64 I think that a lot of people use their responsibilties to spouse and family as a way to avoid the freedom required to achieve spectacular greatness. I, however, have no such excuse. 2008-07-05T10:41:27Z 63 I love my BF, but I miss the way we used to be earlier in the relationship. We've been together 6.5 years now, and I miss the romance and the crazy sex we used to have. I just found out that a guy I knew in high school, who I thought was attractive at the time, recently got married. And I'm bummed out. When we were in high school, I didn't have the nerve to try to get his attention. I thought I didn't stand a chance with him. Now, I'm wondering if he kisses good, if he's good in bed, if he has a lot of body hair, etc. I know part of the reason for this is that BF's and my sex life is not what it used to be. I'm trying not to obsess about this guy, and to remember all the good things in my life that I have to be grateful for. But I'm still bummed out that now, I'll never find out if G. (the guy from high school) would be compatible with me in the physical sense. Damn! If I could rewind back in time to high school, I'd just go for it! 2008-07-01T19:08:53Z 62 Sometimes I'd like to pack a bag and walk away from my life forever. If I could figure out a way to change my identity I would leave this place and never come back. I'd miss my husband but I don't think he'd care that much, anyway. 2008-06-15T09:34:39Z 61 As long as old men die and their widows sell freshly pressed or dry cleaned white shirts, really, really nice shirts, for about 50 cents each at garage sales, I am not going to learn how to iron a shirt. 2008-05-27T21:04:38Z 60 I was more than a little surprised to see a single white woman with a white baby at Wal-Mart yesterday. 2008-05-15T13:28:53Z 59 I believe that people with very neat, flowery handwriting are inherently dumber than people with sloppy, erratic handwriting. 2008-04-22T12:26:49Z 58 I am having a crush that keeps on growing on my sister in law! shameful 2008-04-20T13:13:29Z 57 The more dangerous the activity, the cuter the underwear. Just in case. 2008-04-18T11:18:33Z 56 My sister constantly bitches about her in laws, but she knows she's only got to where she is because of them. Her husband treats her like shit and her kids are unruly little bastards. I'm their aunt and I can't stand to be around them. She made her own bed and I'm glad she's sleeping in it. 2008-04-17T19:59:58Z 55 My best friend is a very conceited bitch. She has to have everything her way and gets pissed when people change the plans on her. She thinks it's all about her. I'm happy that her husband left her, he deserved better than her. 2008-04-17T19:56:01Z 54 I cheated on my husband with my best friend's roommate. I don't really regret it, the sex was good, but I know I don't want to do it again. I lied to him and told him nothing happened. I know this is a secret I will never tell him. 2008-04-17T19:46:54Z 53 After visiting NYC, I can totally see why my friend who lives there doesn't like black people. If you're white you're treated like scum and they will throw racist insults at you. But if you dare defend yourself or return the insults, you'll be torn apart regardless as to whether you're a man or a woman. I feel sorry for the black people who are really trying to push past the stereotypes and succeed in life but their stupid wannabe-gangsta brethren ruin it all for them. I suppose this goes for any race that suffers racism. I still avoid befriending most of the black people on this campus. The lot of the ones I see are incredibly obnoxious. Don't get me wrong now, I've met a few that weren't, but unfortunately the vast majority of the ones I meet are people I never want to meet again. Everyone's a little bit racist sometimes. 2008-04-17T18:29:49Z 52 I just started dating a woman. 27/F/thought I was straight. 2008-04-15T09:14:14Z 51 10 years ago, I fell in love with my wonderful boss. I quit my job to get away from him because I couldn't have him (he had a committed GF), and I moved on. I have not seen him in all this time. Not once in the nine years since I left that job have we had any contact whatsoever. And now I am back in love with him, can't stop thinking about him, and don't know why. Every day I'm tormented by the thought of never seeing him again. He is still unmarried AFAIK. He is a conservative Baptist from Texas, a Tejano son of Mexican immigrants who plays piano in his church band every Sunday, and I'm a white-as-can-be latte liberal from the Left Coast. He's the kind of guy whose favorite movie is "Top Gun," while I'm into independent and foreign films. I've always been childfree and never, ever thought I would ever want a kid, but if this one guy came back into my life and asked me to marry him and have his kid, I'd do it in a NY minute just to be with him. I wish I were making this up. 2008-04-10T15:02:40Z 50 I wish I could have a sneak peek at myself in 10 or 15 years just so I could decide whether or not I'm on the right track. 2008-03-16T12:30:15Z 49 I think most of the people I know who say they want kids will make horrible parents. Every time one of them mentions how s/he wants kids, I secretly hope they're infertile. 2008-03-16T11:35:14Z 48 After a lifetime of shitty birthdays, my wife just gave me the best one I've ever had. My secret is I don't tell her often enough how much she means to me. 2008-02-21T12:07:29Z 47 In addition to the women spitting out of their open car doors every morning, I'm now seeing multiple women putting on their makeup while driving. I thought that was just a stereotype. My life is turning into a bad stand-up comic's act from the '80s. 2008-02-21T11:48:56Z 46 In the past three mornings, I've seen 5 separate black women hocking loogies out of their car windows on the way to work in the mornings. Stay classy, ladies. 2008-01-30T07:27:31Z 45 Everyone in my life thinks I graduated last May. Not one person knows I still have 4 credits remaining. I had to take out loans, since my parents aren't paying my tuition anymore (I "graduated," remember?), and had to lie to everyone I know about what I'm doing and why I haven't left my college town yet. I don't know why I lied. I guess it's because my entire family already had plane tickets to come see me walk at graduation. Luckily my Dean played along. "Graduation ceremonies are just a show" she said. I can't believe she let me walk. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that I didn't give up; that I'm not one of those cliche people who quit college with only 4 credits remaining. God I can't wait to finish so I don't have to lie anymore. 2008-01-23T17:18:35Z 44 My mother is insanely jealous of me. She should be. I have a better career than her and my dad loves me more than he loves her. He's told me so. 2008-01-22T11:40:02Z 43 My dad always taught me that only gays used bathroom stalls to urinate, because they were afraid of showing their cocks to other men. I later found a bunch of gay porn sites in my browser history after he used my computer, so I think he just liked trying to sneak peeks at urinals. 2008-01-15T04:32:33Z 42 Whenever I hear someone claim that stem cell research kills precious little fetuses, I secretly wish diseases on them. Parkinson's, alzheimer's, arthritis, diabetes... you know, the ones that could see major breakthroughs through this research. As a backup plan, I hope they wreck their cars on the way home and wind up paralyzed. 2007-12-23T20:21:06Z 41 I ate dinner through 2girls1cup. Meh, I've seen worse. 2007-12-17T15:13:27Z 40 I actually am a homemaker who doesn't have or want children. My husband and I both inherited money, and he has an extremely good job that allows him to take care of both of us. Because of our tax bracket, if I was to work, I'd get taxed up the wazoo just so I could endure having psychotic co-workers and numbskull supervisors. I tell people I work from home, but the truth is that job ended about three years ago. Now I just putz around selling our old and unwanted stuff on eBay, pursuing my own interests, and spoiling the hell out of my husband. He gets to come home to a beautiful house, a happy wife, and nummy gourmet meals every week, so he's not complaining one bit. I know it's horrifically anti-feminist, but we don't need more money, and I've hated nearly every job I've ever had due to nasty workplace politics. If I ever lucked into a job that I really loved, though, I'd take it in a heartbeat. 2007-12-09T16:23:28Z 39 Sometimes I buy things like tools just to use them and return them. That way, I save closet space and money! 2007-12-08T10:42:01Z 38 This is going to be long but I have to get it off my chest. I like my ILs, mostly because they live 800 miles away. MIL is okay, but my FIL, while a decent guy, is a know-it-all. They are honest people, maybe a little on the redneck side. After they visit or after we go down there, my DH, who is a sensitive, caring man, can't make noun-verb agreement for about a month. My mission in life is to keep him up here and away from them. I know what they really think: They are preplexed at our lifestyle. They think I am too educated. (I have more education than their son.) They can't understand why I, a woman in her 40's, wasn't frantic to get married and why I'm not inhaling fertility drugs at lightening speed because cranking out little miracles is What You Are Supposed To Do.(TM) They can't understand why a childless (to them) couple has a 3,000+ square foot house. The short answer? We can because we work hard and we didn't crank out four kids like they did. (And we won't be having any kids, thanks to my sterilization surgery, a fact that is NOTB.) When they came to see our new house, my FIL was excessively critical. Mind you, I am low-key person. I don't care about status objects. We have a nice home because we are homebodies. I don't rub it in to anyone. But I could tell our house ate my FIL alive. He went around our first floor (which is as almost as big as their entire house) looking for something to criticize. He told me the builder had used "leftover pine" in places on our hardwood floor. (It's white oak, and it's part of the pattern.) When I told him thus, he wouldn't listen because he didn't want to. He insisted on taking me around the house and showing me all the "pine planks." I just shrugged. More stories? I have a piece of furniture that has been in my family for 120 years. He looked at it hard, even on the inside, and tried to tell me several times he thought it was built in the 1970's. I told him my grandmother and mother both had to dust it when they were kids. Whatever, Dude. Despite all this carping, I just found out they are coming next weekend. Oh, and they are bringing two other members of the clan along. I'm sure it's to show off our house and brag about it, even though the floors are defective and it's riddled with imperfections. (Mind you, these are people who have lived in the same house for 26 years and they have never washed the windows. Sheesh. ) My DH is taking off on the Friday before they come. I thought about it, but then I said to myself, Fuck that shit. Let him get ready for them and if anything, I'll take a day off the Monday after they leave to celebrate getting my house back. And here's my last secret of all: Next Saturday I'm going to have a terrible office emergency and I'm going to have to work. There are times when I'm thankful to work in IT, and this is one of them. So unfortunate, isn't it? 2007-11-25T06:43:18Z 37 Motherfucker, if you don't stop shaking my desk while you fix that printer on the other side of the cubicle wall, I'm going to brain you with my thickest book. Take it to another desk. Yes, I'm fucking around at work, but it helps me to be productive, and you don't work here. 2007-11-19T08:51:49Z 36 I've noticed a few odd behaviors over and over again at stoplights in town, both related to drivers and the homeless. Maybe I should've been an anthropologist. Behavior the first: Homeless person begs for change in the median, walking back and forth each light cycle. Driver sees homeless person walking by their window and pulls forward all of 2 inches, presumably to minimize the time they have to deal with the beggar. It never fails. Watch for this behavior, and see how often you notice it. There's nowhere for the driver to go, but they just have to get the homeless person out of their sight as soon as possible. Second behavior: Usually spotted when the first behavior fails. Light turns green, driver feels guilty, and rolls down the window to give a dollar or two. Homeless person has to walk over to the car to get the money and thank them. Light turns yellow, guilty driver makes it through, thoroughly fucking over everyone behind him. Repeat step one. For fuck's sake. You know the homeless will be at certain corners if you've driven in this town for a week, for values of "certain" where "certain" = "all". Either have a bum fund stashed in your car, just ignore them, or have a few cans of cat/dog food to give if they have an animal with them. Don't act like you're shocked at a completely alien situation. 2007-11-19T08:48:13Z 35 I thought it might've just been a few typos here and there, but my boss really doesn't know how to spell. He's made it to his 40s without being able to spell probably a good 1 out of every 10 words. If you can't spell, and you've been here this long, I have absolutely no worries about job security. 2007-11-14T12:53:54Z 34 The secret ingredient in my low-fat cookies? Butter. The key to winning office baking contests? Rum. Not in the actual food, just in the title, and optionally in the baker. I learned this after losing to a shitty chocolate rum cake that tasted nothing like rum or chocolate. The contest judges/party planning committee are usually 40-ish former party girls trying to lose weight, so what do they like? Low-fat and booze. Lie about both, particularly if there's an iPod at stake. 2007-11-12T08:30:53Z 33 So many people piss me off right now that I spend most of my time in public wearing my iPod, especially if I ever have to visit the mall. I especially can't stand those mothers who have made it their quest to wipe out anything 'offensive' just so their pwecious wittle baaaby won't ever see a titty on TV or the s-word on the radio. 2007-11-10T18:50:01Z 32 I feel kinda bad for men. Although women are often given the second-class citizen treatment, I get the feeling that it is to compensate for the very real impairments that go along with missing one leg on each of the 23 pairs of chromosomes. That isn't an "XY", it's a messed up "XX"! :) There is a reason that a large percentage of men really like pussy... they would love to have one 24/7!! They lust for what they know they are missing, and that is what gives us women absolute power :) Shhhhh! 2007-11-03T12:18:19Z 31 I am getting very serious with a man 18 years older than myself. His age doesn't bother me at all, however I am nervous about introducing him to my parents since he is only 2 years younger than my mother. 2007-10-27T22:07:49Z 30 I truly hate christians. I wish I could say that I am not bigoted in any way, but I can't. My life would be so much nicer without the christians. 2007-10-26T21:58:58Z 29 I have eaten dog meat. ...not bad. 2007-10-24T19:29:13Z 28 I haven't had a shower in several days. This is actually because the doctors told me not to do it. I occasionally stick my head in and wash my hair, but that's really getting annoying to do. 2007-10-23T16:48:17Z 27 Is is just me, or is "abortion" becoming a taboo topic? 2007-10-20T11:58:39Z 26 Sometimes I wish I could leave her. But I look around at all of her things and don't know if I can picture them gone. 2007-10-10T10:07:36Z 25 G-D. He's not Voldemort. You can say his name. If you think that God couldn't tell you were talking or writing about him because you dropped the vowels, then he's clearly not even as powerful as a bad Wheel of Fortune contestant. If you believe in him, give him a bit more credit than that. 2007-10-03T06:54:56Z 24 I want to write a book about my life. 2007-09-28T12:28:26Z 23 I have been fighting depression for over 20 years now! 2007-09-26T06:12:43Z 22 I got laid on my lunch break, and that was just about the only useful thing I did all day. 2007-09-24T15:15:45Z 21 I hate the National Anthem. 2007-09-23T17:11:56Z 20 I think that some people have children just to prove they are not virgins. 2007-09-22T13:12:03Z 19 I don't think there's a such thing as not favoring one child over the other. I believe my sister is my mom's favorite child because she's following exactly what my mom wants. Meanwhile, I need surgery and my mom doesn't agree with the doctors who said I do. I'm in pain, but as long as she isn't it doesn't matter. She wants me to wait until Christmas to get the surgery. I think she just wants me to go back to my hometown so she doesn't have to spend winter by herself. She needs to suck up and get used to it if I have to suck up and get used to this pain. 2007-09-21T12:42:58Z 18 I really don't want to go to this party tonight. I'm expected to be all bright and chatty when all I want to do is soak in the tub and read. 2007-09-21T09:09:11Z 17 I am still driving on a suspended drivers license! 2007-09-20T07:30:10Z 16 Sadly, the fact that it is Talk Like a Pirate day is the most exciting thing about today. I hate my job. 2007-09-19T09:11:48Z 15 I am a drug addict. I am so ashamed of myself. I don't know how my Husband puts up with me. He deserves better. I love him dearly. I wish I loved myself more. 2007-09-19T07:28:13Z 14 I wish it was socially acceptable to be a homemaker without having children. 2007-09-13T15:19:01Z 13 People keep telling me "you're so pretty" or "you're so skinny." I wish I could see what they do. :-( 2007-09-13T08:58:50Z 12 You know one of those balls you can get from bath stores? You put them in your tub and it dissolves, releasing oils that are good for your skin and stuff? I was playing with one of those last night, and I've always had the compulsive urge to just pop one. So I did. It felt like I was bursting someone's testicle. Oil spewed all over my tummy, and it's still really oily from that. It was fun. The glob is still rolling around in the tub like living mucus. I should go get it before the roommate finds it. 2007-09-13T08:09:50Z 11 I am worried about my health. For some reason I am only doing part of what the Doctor has advised that I do to make things better. I am not sure why this is. I don't want to be sick, but I just can't seem to get with the program. I know through family history that there are several illnesses that took the lives of relatives at an early age. I know this is some sort of self sabotage and maybe a little self hate. I want to get the courage to do better and feel better. I am even afraid of that. Weird, but true. 2007-09-12T22:59:55Z 10 A few years ago, I cheated on my (now ex) husband with a coworker. It was a horrible thing to do and I feel badly about it, however I do not regret it. My affair finally gave me the strength to leave my awful ex after several years of unhappiness. I have not told a single person in real life about this because I'm afraid of what they will think of me. 2007-09-12T17:20:17Z 9 I hate babies. I never smile at them. I hate kids. I don't give them nice looks either. I don't find them charming, cute, or entertaining. I'm not sure if anyone in my life, though, knows the depth of my dislike for children. They know I'm not big on them, but I don't think they get how deep that goes. If I had to have a baby, I'd find a way to make it "go away." 2007-09-12T12:02:33Z 8 My husband allowed my mother in law to bring her six month old grandchild (his neice) into our home late one night "for a couple of days" without consulting with me first. I packed my things as soon as it happened - my husband got angry with me and told me that if I left right then, I would be breaking our marriage. I told him I understood that, and departed. Our divorce is finalized next month. I'm sad, but not sorry! 2007-09-10T15:31:33Z 7 No, I don't -care- about your family. I don't care about your husband who's in jail, doubtless for something stupid he did. I don't care about your idiot daughter. Why in the hell do I know more about the recent goings-on in a co-worker's family than my own family? Because you won't shut the hell up! 2007-09-09T19:46:55Z 6 Genius usually comes with common sense. Not this time. It's been brought to my attention that people wouldn't want "semen" showing up in their employer's log files. You'd think I would've thought of that. As such, I've bought <a href="http://www.too-many-secrets.com">www.too-many-secrets.com</a> and redirected the old domain over here. Now you may safely goof off at work without worrying about your boss seeing man chowder in the logs. 2007-09-08T15:58:59Z 5 Hooray! It's day care day at work. Yes, it's 5pm, dipshit, but that doesn't mean that this is an acceptable drop-off point for your ex-wife to bring your kids. I'm trying to write software and fuck around on the internet. If your kids see a tit, it's your fault. 2007-09-07T14:55:20Z 4 Sometimes, making it to a particular wedding anniversary means you didn't get out when you should have. It really sucks when you realize that -- and are too gutless to correct your earlier mistake. 2007-09-04T05:30:31Z 3 I'm taking off work tomorrow for a medical procedure in the morning, then my wife and I were going to go see a double feature of Superbad and Balls of Fury at the local movie theater. A fun day for all, until I went to check the times. It's fucking "Baby Day" at the theater. I take one goddamn day off, and plan to do something I want, and it's ruined by screaming babies and a theater whose policy refuses to kick them out on Baby Day. Fuck me. My Netflix rentals won't even be here until the afternoon. Thanks, lazy parents, for letting the talking pictures raise your kids. 2007-09-03T12:40:42Z 2 Welcome to the redesigned Too Many Secrets (formerly Cooty's Rat Semen), your home for online confessions and secrets. Like other similar sites, we discourage conversations between secrets or commenting on other users' confessions. For quite a few people, it takes a lot of courage to post their secrets, even if it's anonymous. The last thing they need is someone giving them a ration of shit because they don't agree with them. To keep things from getting out of hand, I will maintain the ability to edit or delete posts that violate the rules. Unlike other sites, you won't be banned unless it becomes a problem. You can see the basic rules above the secrets entry box, or by visiting the "Rules" link at the top. Basically, just don't post any information that can personally identify you or anybody else. You can use initials, but not whole names, no addresses, phone numbers, or emails. Also, please don't post secrets containing "U" and "UR" in place of "you" and "your/you're", unless you're making fun of someone who does that, because that really makes you look stupid. Somebody had to tell you. Also, please try to avoid any form of "Me too" post, unless you're going to fill it in with your own tales of woe. One last note: Only I, your glorious admin, have the right to post HTML and images in my posts. I don't need the complaints that would come the first time someone posts Goatse or Tubgirl. As others have found out, you should also never Google anything I say that you don't understand, such as the aforementioned Goatse, Tubgirl, LemonParty, or Hai2u. Trust me on this, you'll save yourself from hellish visions that you can never unsee. For now, let's let the experiment begin. You get all of the burden-lifting of a church confessional, with none of the shame or guilt. Enjoy yourselves, and if you have any questions, check the <a href="/help">"Help"</a> link at the top before using the <a href="/contact">contact form</a> at the bottom. Thanks for visiting! 2007-09-02T10:13:49Z 1